Bouddha aux figues...

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Par eric le mardi 26 décembre 2006, 19:27 - "General" - Lien permanent

Mettant un terme à 10 mois d’angoisse insoutenable pour 325 millions de fidèles, il est enfin réapparu, assis dans son figuier..

Bahadur Bomjam , (dont un lointain ancêtre se serait, selon certaines sources, prénommé "Edouard"..) a été retrouvé par les flics et par hasard, à 150 Km de Katmandou toujours assis, toujours méditant et toujours à moitié à poil..

Je sais pas vous, mais moi, je le trouve requinqué pépère sur la photo.
A part la tignasse et les quelques familles de poux y résidant, il est tout pareil qu’avant… jusqu'à la "housse" façon "toge romaine"...

C’est pas n’importe qui Bahadur.. La réincarnation de Bouddha himself !

Vous en connaissez beaucoup vous, qui restent le cul sur une racine pendant 11 mois sans manger ni boire, qui se vaporisent dans la canopée pendant 10 mois, et qui se redéposent sur la même racine pour une nouvelle saison de méditation transcendantale ?!
A part Bouddha...

D’ailleurs, il n’a pas perdu de temps pour s’y remettre le "réincarné"..
Il aura mis 3 jours pour s’apercevoir de l’agitation autour de son figuier, replongé qu’il était déjà, dans sa "saison 2" de "roupillage méditatif" …

"..C’est à quel sujet ?!..", aurait-il dit aux policiers subjugués..

Bon, à la fois, si on vient lui casser les c… tous les 10 mois, il est pas sorti de son arbre Bahadur.

C’est qu’il en a pris pour 6 ans de réflexions, agrémentés de repas à base de nourriture spirituelle, le temps d’accomplir son chemin initiatique vers l’Eveil.

Pour un peu qu’avec la recrudescence galopante du "tout religieux", un "réincarné" de Jésus revienne nous marcher sur l’eau (quoique avec des trous dans les pieds maintenant..), ou qu’un "Super-Moïse" nous re-creuse une autoroute au milieux de la méditerranée, il aura du mal à garder son audimat auprès des fidèles notre Bouddha népalais.

Alors un peu de compassion pour notre messie en herbe... et qu’au moins une âme charitable se dévoue pour lui enlever les figues trop mûres qui vont lui tomber sur la tronche en fin de saison..
Merci pour lui.

Quand on pense que les deux tiers de cette planète accordent plus de crédit à ce genre de jeune trou du cul qu’à la théorie de Darwin..

Pauvre monde..

Commentaires

1. Le mercredi 27 décembre 2006, 15:20 par Dom

excellent ton article !! C'est la période de fêtes, les gens ont besoin de miracles, de spectaculaire pour oublier un peu les fins, que dis-je, les débuts de mois difficiles.

2. Le jeudi 28 décembre 2006, 00:35 par Raynor

Superbe phrase finale sur une triste réalité qu'est ce monde où les gens croient en des "possibilités", ont la foi en des histoires incroyables où la mer se coupe en deux, où un homme revit par la main de Dieu, un homme -que dis-je, un demi-dieu!- qui transforme l'eau en vin et embrasse les lépreux "sans attraper la chtouille !" (dixit Laurent Gerra ^^)...
Et lorsqu'on leur dit "il y a sans doute une civilisation extra-terrestre avancée atteignant les rêves les plus fous de la science-fiction", là c'est pas possible, c'est trop irréel, etc...

Comme dirait Michel Serrault dans "Albert est méchant" : "Pauvre cul(s) !"
C'est tout ce qui me vient à l'esprit, tant la bêtise de la Foi peut être lamentable. Bien sûr, on dit toujours "oh mon Dieu", bien sûr, on prie parfois lorsque tout va mal... Mais au fond, est-ce une raison pour aller à la messe écouter des prières dans une langue morte, prônant la fidélité comme remède à la déchéance de la société, à l'homosexualité, au SIDA... ?
Si tel est le cas, alors je suis un wookie ! (le pratiquant fidèle et borné ne comprendra évidemment pas à quelle espèce je fais allusion, d'autant plus que sont encyclopédie spécialement épurée de toute insanité n'indique aucun animal portant ce nom)

Dire qu'on accorde une importance hors-normes aux plaintes, aux gémissements, aux râles pathétiques et pitoyables des religions de notre pays, entre d'un côté les chrétiens et leur appel à une belle vie auréolée de paix où on ne peut pas s'envoyer en l'air avec la femme qu'on aime sans s'être passé une bague en doigt, s'être assis 1h dans une église et avoir claqué une somme colossale pour un mariage digne de ce nom avec toute la famille et les amis....
Et de l'autre côté, notre "sympathique deuxième religion de France", j'ai nomme l'Islam, synonyme d'un message de paix obscurci par des inégalités homme/femme, des Etat de droit religieux qu'on ne peut pas réformer en profondeur (véridique, car ça toucherait aux textes saints...), ou encore une susceptibilité à la mords-moi-le-noeud qui provoque des tollés d'une violence inouïe à la moindre contestation, une violence assez comique quand on constate qu'elle fut la réponse aux propos de Benoît XVI qualifiant l'Islam comme violente... Vraiment, vraiment amusant.

Il y a les autres religions, et les autres sectes (vous savez, les religions qui n'ont pas eu beaucoup de succès), mais bon, voilà quoi, c'est normal, c'est naturel -pour les religions au moins-, par contre si on m'entend dire ça en public, à la télévision par exemple, des connards barbus me font sauter la cervelle en moins de 24 heures...
Qu'on continue à parler de respect des croyances, qu'on continue à s'aveugler par les bêtises qui endoctrinent des personnes incapables de trouver autre chose pour sortir de leur quotidien ennuyeux voire douloureux, qu'on poursuit sur cette voie et bientôt, nous le verrons tous, on ne pourra vraiment plus critiquer quoi que ce soit.

3. Le vendredi 29 décembre 2006, 11:16 par eric

Voilà qui résume bien ce qui constitue le principal "fil rouge" de ce blog.
Mon indignation devant les aberrations toujours plus ineptes et les ingérences toujours plus dictatoriales des religions et autres assimilés, n'aura de cesse d'y trouver une vitrine.
Retourner au moyen âge ne fait pas vraiment partie de mes projets immédiats, n'en déplaise aux bigots incurables et aux barbus prosélytes..
Je n'aurai non plus jamais d'état d'âme a fustiger le moindre centime d'argent public dépensé par notre république laïque pour la promotion ou le financement de ces prêcheurs d'aneries débilissimes..(comme ici : http://blog.pooocontent.fr/post/200...)

A bientôt..
Eric

4. Le dimanche 28 janvier 2007, 21:58 par cr0vax

Euh ...
Les boudhistes comme la plupart des chrétiens n'ont absolument rien contre Darwin ...
Il serait bon de ne pas laisser croire n'importe quoi non plus

5. Le lundi 29 janvier 2007, 20:09 par eric

"A crOvax" :
Je ne laisse nullement croire que les chrétiens, les juifs ou les boudhistes ont quoi que ce soit contre Darwin. Je dis simplement qu'ils ne lui accordent aucun crédit, et qu'en temps qu'athée profondément cartésien je m'en étonne encore tous les jours..
C'est tout.
Maintenant, chacun peut bien croire en ce qu'il veut et comme il l'entend.. tant qu'il n'exerce pas sur moi un quelconque prosélytisme.

Bienvenue sur ce blog.

Cordialement.

6. Le mardi 30 janvier 2007, 00:07 par cr0vax

Mais, c'est faux.
Les boudhistes ne rejettent absolument pas les acquis de Darwin étant donné que le boudhisme ne parle pas du tout de l'apparition de l'homme, et la plupart des chrétiens les reconnaissent (pour les catholiques notamment, la théorie de l'évolution est reconnue depuis longtemps). Pour les juifs et les musulmans, j'avoue ne pas savoir clairement s'il y a rejet, indifférence ou acceptation.
Notons d'ailleurs que pour pêtre tout à fait précis, Darwin n'avait pas tout à fait complètement raison, mais que certaines de ses erreurs, corrigées depuis bien longtemps par la communauté scientifique se retrouvent dans nos manuels scolaires, qui font bien rire certains de nos voisins ...

En tout les cas, j'espère que ton blog continuera à vivre, car j'en ai appréçié la lecture (de bout en bout).

7. Le dimanche 29 juillet 2007, 18:22 par lesyeuxdelabite

Avant de ricaner fais en autant, trou de cul...
Quand tu écris tu ne sais même pas de quoi tu parles...
pour le bouddhisme apparemment c'est connaissance néant, quand à Darwin...il faudrait peut-être réactualiser et développer

8. Le lundi 30 juillet 2007, 19:34 par eric

"lesyeuxdelabite"...

Magnifique pseudo... qui en dit plus long sur l'apparente vulgarité de son "propriétaire" que la ringardise son commentaire.

9. Le samedi 11 août 2007, 19:13 par tom

quelle tristesse,

C'est à cause d'escrocs et de charlatans que les gens ne croient plus en rien et que le peu de foi disparait.

Car il existe bien des choses que notre esprit étriqué ne sauraient comprendre. Mais d'un revers de main et avec tout l'aplomb que cela nécessite, nous disons : non cela n'existe pas, cela est faux, c'est un coup monté.
Du coup, parmi les centaines de miliers de supercheries, les événements qui auraient du susciter notre attention restent sous silence....

et nous continuons à vivre, persuadé que nous avons tout compris....

Un remède ? : voyager, loin, seul, sans préjugés, et se confronter à cette réalité qui est là. Cela prend du temps.... mais quand ça arrive enfin, quelle claque !!!!

A tous les sceptiques, garder suffisament d'ouverture pour reconnaitre la malice et la supercherie, mais rester ouvert a ce qui pourrait nous permettre d'avancer dans de meilleures conditions

Thomas

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